Slaying the Dragons

This week saw the return of one of my favourite shows in the history of television. Sadly, it may not have done so well ratings-wise, because it was on at the same time as England v Spain. Actually, come to think of it, it may have done rather well after all.

I refer, of course, to Dragon's Den. Sixty minutes of genius. It sounds simple enough; a panel of entrepreneurs is faced with a series of inventors, small businesses, idiots, and so on, hoping that they will invest in their venture in exchange for a stake in the business. Mostly, of course, they are laughed at and sent packing like the witless fools they are. Occasionally, they decide to have a punt. When you describe all this, it sounds more boring even than Des Lynam on Countdown, but trust me - it's deeply compelling.

The show's been running for a few years now, and most weeks the panel will decide to invest in one or two people. And we're talking a lot of money here - normally hundreds of thousands of pounds.

So, here's the thing. I have never (repeat never) seen any of the businesses supported by these businessmen in the real world. You'd think with the support of such successful people, the products would be in the shops, if not every home, or at least be available online. I do a lot of online shopping. Never seen any of them. Ever.

The one that sticks in my mind the most from a couple of years ago, was the highly acclaimed venture of putting umbrella vending machines in train stations. Imagine! The advantages are obvious. A wonderful idea, cried the panel, before throwing money and advice at the chap. Have I seen any in the stations I frequent? Nope. Would I like to? Well, certainly if it's raining.

So, anyway - good TV, but I suspect that's about it. And if you've seen an umbrella vending machine, let me know where. Maybe I can change my route.